Do you feel that…lean on…it feels a little naughty…a little naughty…and a little bit powerful…. It’s sexual tension and it’s EVERYWHERE!
Why? Because women are embracing their “hoe era.” It started when women started talking more openly about their sex lives.
Whether it was Abbie Chatfield saying she was building a list of lovers or Chantelle Otten getting her boyfriend to try a new sex toy on her in a public restaurant.
Women are throwing old stigmas out the window and embracing their sexual energy, and I, for one, am very much here for it.
Hoe is considered a derogatory word, but what if we changed the narrative and embraced it as a word for our sexual freedom.
If it wasn’t for my own whore days, I wouldn’t have experienced the joys of dating men from all walks of life, experimenting in and out of the bedroom, expanding my social circle, and realizing that not every man I have has a crush must be something serious.
And let’s not think for a second that it’s all about sleeping with a lot of people, for me it wasn’t. It was about having the freedom to do whatever the fuck I wanted without upsetting anyone.
Whether that’s a lot of dates, experimenting with outfits that vary in fabric size and finding what makes me feel sexiest.
But there are certain Judgy McJudgesons in our church who are scared…very scared!
Women like me with a public voice have become fodder at dinner parties.
I know this for sure because I’ve been to the dinner parties where people dissected my articles. I was stopped in the street and asked if I wasn’t a little worried about parents reading about my sexual escapades. I’ve had ‘friends’ who accidentally sent me my articles with a slut-shaming comment and not with the person wanted to go.
But for all those who judge, there are also those who express a deep curiosity.
You know, I get texts from ex-boyfriends asking if they can get a naughty mention, I get cornered by women at parties to ask if their boyfriend’s erectile dysfunction is normal, and I am the first person newly single friends invite when they’re ready for a cocktail.
Honestly I can’t get enough of it.
For me, my hoe time helped me realize that single life is actually pretty darn fun and you don’t need a partner to feel fulfilled.
That’s why I’m in my 30s now and not trying to fill a void that society tells us there is when we’re not stuffed and married and having kids. It teaches us to be wonderfully independent, and I’m grateful for that.
I also have a theory that if more people in their 20s experienced a hoe era, there would be a lot less divorce. Let’s face it, so many people settle down early in life and then secretly long for a few wild nights.
So many times I hear married friends complain that they didn’t really mess around in their 20s, and it saddens me. Some of my favorite stories come from that time.
I know that if I eventually decide to settle down with a guy, I won’t have any regrets and that there will be no reason to cheat or pine for single life again because I’ve given it a solid crack have.
I also hope that the guy I end up dating had his own hacking era too. I hope he’s taken the field and really filled his cup with adventure so that when we finally settle down he has no regrets or unfulfilled desires.
As we look back at life, we’ll have some exciting stories to tell as we sit back in our rocking chairs.
You see, the more open we are about sex and the drama that comes with it, the less shame there is. It helps create an incredible bond with people and lets people be their authentic selves.
So, it’s my Christmas wish that more people embrace a hoe era and go out and have fun!
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hoecking
Originally published as Jana Hocking on embracing her hoe era — and why you should too