Intersex person reveals what dating life is like for her

An intersex person has revealed how she navigates the world of dating and sex.

Blume using s/he pronouns revealed Andrew BucklowI have news for you Podcast that they are intersex, meaning someone is born without meeting the criteria of being either biologically male or female.

Typically, the intersex person has things like chromosomes, hormones, or sex organs of both sexes like flower.

Only 1.9 percent of the world’s population is intersex.

“I was born with what’s called androgen insensitivity syndrome,” she told the podcast. “Basically, I was an XY chromosome and I was determined to be a boy, but because my body doesn’t respond to androgens, I basically had to remain the standard little baby that we all start out as.

“So basically I looked exactly like a typical woman. And then, when I reached the age when I should have gone through puberty, I found out that I didn’t have a female reproductive system.

“I actually had balls in me, believe it or not.”

Blume revealed that when they were 16, they went to the doctor for a different reason, but confided in him they hadn’t started going through puberty yet.

Doctors examined it and it turned out that they were intersex – something Blume had never heard of before.

Blume’s parents were in the room, having previously been called by doctors about the revelation. But the news came with a warning.

“When I was first diagnosed, the doctors told me not to tell anyone and that it was really dangerous for me to share it with people, even my friends,” they said.

“So the whole sense of secrecy and shame made it seem a lot worse. But luckily I didn’t listen to them. I felt like I wanted to share it with everyone anyway.”

Friends and family were supportive, but Blume shared that some rumors were being made about her at school. However, in her adult life, everyone has accepted the information.

Blume never had surgery to remove her testicles or create a fully formed vagina, having been born without.

Instead, her doctor recommended creating one using a procedure called dilation, which is a procedure many vaginismus sufferers use in which chopsticks are inserted to stretch a vagina so things like using tampons or having sex aren’t incredibly painful.

That’s what it did for Blume in terms of sex.

Blume said they’re often asked if their libido is affected by intersex, but they revealed it’s just like any other person who enjoys sex.

Blume also revealed that their dating life is largely unaffected by the fact that they are intersex as they are a member of the queer community, so there is an openness but even other friends that Blume has who are intersex have no problem.

The young person revealed that when they first found out they were intersex they wished they weren’t, but society has changed over the years and since receiving their diagnosis they have learned that there are as many intersex people in the world as there are redheads.

“As a teenager, you just try to be as little different as possible,” they said. “But it changed my life for the better. I’ve met so many incredible people, I’ve learned so much about myself. And there are all these advantages.

“For example, I personally never have to have a period. I don’t grow body hair or anything like that. And I never have to use deodorant because I don’t have body odor.”

But there are some things Blume would like about the intersex community, and that’s that people shouldn’t be forced to choose a gender if they don’t want to.

They also want more representation for intersex people in the programming of coming-of-age shows such as heartbreak high or sex education.

Originally posted as Intersex reveals what dating life is like

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