A nearly missed connection saved by a direct message

After matching on multiple dating sites in 2017, Joseph Michael Flaum became increasingly interested in Allison Dana Port. However, she felt overwhelmed, not by Mr. Fluff, but by the barrage of messages she was constantly receiving through the apps.

So, when Mr. Fluff, 38, late Ms Port, 35, messaged she did not reply.

Then, in early fall 2019, they matched again. Mister. Fluff still had no reply to his message to her. But he didn’t give up and instead decided to contact her via Facebook.

This impressed Mrs Port and messages were exchanged. Their first date on 10/15 was at the St. Tropez Wine Bar and Restaurant in the West Village near their apartments, which happened to be just a few blocks apart.

“We must have crossed paths,” Mr. Flaum said, “but it was more like ships passing in the night.”

Mister. Fluff came into Ms. Port’s life at a crucial time. Her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the summer. “I couldn’t imagine going through this without him,” she said. “It was like a gift from the universe.”

Then Covid struck and when Ms. Port received the news that her father’s cancer was advanced, she decided to return to her family’s home in Woodbury, NY

Mister. Flaum also went home to Boca Raton, Florida to spend time with his family. He befriended his nieces and nephews while pursuing his connection with Ms. Tor. Both returned to the city around Memorial Day 2020, but often traveled back to their hometowns. The summer made for a little breather.

That summer, Mrs. Port took Mr. Fluff home to meet her family. Woman. Port’s father liked Mr. Fluff and her father, before leaving, pulled her aside. “At that point, I think maybe my father knew he didn’t have much time and he wanted to make sure I knew he loved Joe.” He told Mrs. Hafen that Mr. Fluff had his blessing, they should decide to marry.

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Back in town, winter was coming. And when Mrs. Port’s father died on February 10th, 2020, the couple wanted to elope. “We were ready to take a break and get some fresh air,” Mr. Flaum said, so they decided to spend the winter skiing and working remotely in Aspen, Colorado.

But first, a stopover in Florida to see Mr. Flaum’s family for Hanukkah. He watched as Mrs. Port hugged his nieces and sometimes held a girl in each arm. “That’s when I thought, ‘Oh, this could be it.'”

The couple stayed in Aspen for “four blissful months,” skiing in t-shirts until the final days of the season. They then spent another year in town, living together in a new location in the West Village.

Woman. Port holds a bachelor’s degree in public affairs from Indiana University. She is a senior account executive at Amazon and works in digital advertising sales. Mister. Flaum received a bachelor’s degree in finance from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and is a senior analyst and head of the technology, media and telecoms sectors at SPX Capital, a hedge fund.

While the couple were on a ski tour in Switzerland with friends in December 2021, Mr. Flaum was planning a surprise. At the mention of a code word – a certain stock ticker – Mr. Flaum’s friend whipped out a camera to capture his marriage proposal on the mountaintop.

The couple married in December. 3 by Rabbi Jonathan Tabachnikoff of the Dor Chadash Congregation at the Playa Largo Resort and Spa in Key Largo, Florida, in front of about 150 guests. The ceremony took place on the beach.

The couple included some updated Jewish traditions. “We do the seven circles,” Ms. Port said, describing a wedding ritual where a woman goes around a man seven times, “but we split it up and we go around each other three times and then together once.”

There were many speeches at the rehearsal dinner, but only one at the reception. “I’m very fortunate that my father actually wrote a wedding speech before he died,” said Ms. Port, who will take her husband’s surname. Her older brother, Billy Port, read their father’s speech.

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